The bottle has so many different reasons to exist. There is the bottle for happy times; the bottle for sad times, the bottle for loneliness, the bottle for pain, and the bottle for want to end it all.
When I open the bottle up, I can hear the medicine talk to my needs, you will not be alone tonight; you will be happy and free of pain
As I pour the bottle out, onto the ice cubes, I feel those feelings that I am trying to suppress, yelling, no you can’t do this, this isn’t fair, please don’t shut us up.
The alcohol pours over my tongue, and my body tingles knowing what is about to come, the happy feelings, the numbness of the pain or loneliness.
When I get down to the bottom of the bottle, panic sits in, and I wonder, is it going to be enough to get through the night, will I start feeling before I wake up and face reality again? If this happens, can I handle it, will I survive that, will I live through another day.
My other bottle doesn’t have liquid in it, it has my little helpers, that are downers, uppers, pain killers.
Doctor says never mix the two bottle, but it’s like the matrix they don’t want you to feel the power behind the two.. The feeling of numbness one feels, to where the pain, the hurt, the loneliness, the emptiness goes away for a longer time.
The best mixture of the two bottles is when the pain goes away forever and you live in a bright and shiny place with no more pain, sorrow, hurt, loneliness.
But I always wake up, and face another day.